Busch & Lake Taneycomo- Part 5

That’s me in the back and please notice that we are all safely wearing our lifejackets. Kids under 12 have to wear them by law, so my daughter made everyone wear them. MoCon (I am calling Missouri Conservation that from now, too much to type out) must have a significant push for life jacket awareness as there were many signs and activities about it at the Dewey Short Center. Those lessons sunk deeply in my daughter’s head. That’s good, but it was a little extra hot with the life jacket on. Safety first, comfort second. (Comfort was so far behind, it had to be taken out back and shot)

The plan was, like it is every year, to go downriver a ways, cut the engine, then drift. You toss your line out the upriver side of the boat, let the bait sink to the bottom, and wait for sweet, sweet nibbles. There are many minor challenges in this method – most are alleviated by a trolling motor. We did not have a trolling motor because I forgot to ask for one. So the boat tends to spin and you have to start up the engine occasionally to get right. In faster current you just leave the engine on and make small forward-reverse adjustments. Kind of a pain, but I can always ask for a trolling motor when we rent the boat later in the week (you are probably going to want to remember this statement). To be fair, the trolling motors on these john boats are hand operated, so it limits the pilot’s fishing anyway.

The main challenge, one that would prove especially prevalent on this day, is that the bait and hardware bounce on the bottom. This is what you want, but causes the rod to bounce as well- imitating a strike. When a 7 year old is only familiar with fishing still water, this presents a bit of a contradiction. On running water, you can guess it’s a strike if the rod tip stops moving. It makes sense when you see it.

I broke the ice pretty quickly in a traditionally productive spot lined with trees before a big bend in the riverlake near Monkey Island which is supposedly named after an actual monkey who lived there for a time. Apparently it escaped from either a show or was some show folks’ pet. I have a hard time believing this but I do want to believe it.

There’s also power lines running over this section. Upon hearing me say that wildlife is attracted to power lines –deer, fish, turkey, probably other stuff- my wife and daughter asked why. I explained some theories, but ultimately didn’t know and both my daughter and wife said I was making it up. Finally, I just said it’s true because it is and I say it is. Now that’s how you father, friends. Next level is stating that you will, in fact, turn this darn boat around. I did not have to go there.

The excitement was building as everyone sporadically caught a fish or two, except my daughter. Frustration was on the horizon and just past that was cutting down on MY fishing time. I promised she could drive the boat back, which seemed to alleviate things a bit. I also over coached and could see the confusion rising. It really is hard to contain yourself when watching the rod bounce sporadically. There were, of course, several hang ups, birds nest, broke lines that I had to fix, casting difficulties, reeling difficulties, lost bait. One thing that did come out of all this was my daughter started saying she got snaggered in place of snagged. Snaggered is a huge improvement.

So fishing was below average at this point and, frankly we were all getting a little bored. So my dad said it was time for the Corne Special. If you’ll remember weeks ago when you started reading this, my dad’s name is Cornelius and goes by Corne for short. Just wanted to make sure that you knew we did not use canned corn anymore (unless we get really desperate). The Corne Special is a variation of the Corne Combo, and utilizes a full nitghtcrawler tipped with a white power bait on the tiny trout sized hooks. It looks ridiculous and you can even inject some air into the nightcrawler so that it floats off the bottom. (It looks even more ridiculous typing that). The Corne Combo is one pink and one chartreuse power bait on the same hook. Anyway, those are trademarked so be prepared to pay if you want to use them.

Now with the Corne Special in play, all things seemed possible. I had told her everything I knew about drift fishing for trout (took 28 seconds), and had finally shut up. In my head, I was thinking there’s no chance. It was just too hard until you gained the experience of having gone through the hard part. The most unfortunate thing about fishing (or really any endeavor) is that the hard part is dealing with not catching fish - basically failure. Really, fishing with pole and line is a ridiculous concept, if you really start thinking about it. However, she was aggressively excited about netting our fish.

As I wrote earlier, my daughter’s been much better at fishing when someone is not looking over her shoulder. So, when she said she had one on, I initially did not believe it and wasn't paying attention anyway. I was maximizing my time since I thought the trip would end at any minute. I must have said “are you sure” 5 times. Each time she said she was sure. Of course, I didn’t believe it till I finally saw it (Show Me State, right?). What a relief, I thought she was just snaggered and honestly did not believe that she had a fish. Not that I thought she was lying, but it was just hard to believe in that moment for whatever reason.

She reeled it in and we netted it. It was huuuu… not a monster by any means. It was a pretty average sized stocker. I felt a mixture of pride, honor, and love in that moment. I finally understood how the outdoors can bring people together - spanning generation, race, creed, and color.

At least, that is what you are supposed to say, but I didn’t feel any of that. I simply felt relief and was happy that I could finally relax a little bit. That is until the weight of my responsibility to get everyone back on dry land safely flooded back which tag teamed with my fear of docking the boat in currents. It was a nice worry free five minutes. I was happy that she caught her trout and happy that I learned not worrying about driving the boat made me happy. So I flipped my daughter the keys and said you catch the fish, you drive the boat.

(I did take over when we were around other boats and when docking, I am really not that irresponsible. Anymore)

So it was a good day, we all caught fish, made it back to the resort safely, and I really believed that, at the very least, I could increase my overall fishing time. Now I could take my daughter with me and we could bond (mostly I could fish more). The latter part being the main victory of the day. Then, that evening we saw this cloud formation:

Something like this probably signaled impending doom to bygone civilizations, but it was too good to not include here. This is also not foreshadowing, just an interesting picture.

So we quickly made plans to reserve a boat for another day before we headed back to real life. We thought if we could build on this fishing thing, it would be something we could all do together on the regular. My excitement grew as my fishing has sharply decreased over the last couple years. We reserved the boat for the full day on Wednesday. Should I have mentioned adding a trolling motor right then? You’re darn right I should have. Did I? Of course not, I would remember when we were loading up, no problem.

Fast forward to Wednesday, we load up, no issues again, except of course I forgot about the trolling motor. Things are looking mostly great, we’re even getting started way earlier than planned. I get the motor running and headed to the same spot we started on Monday. I cut the engine while simultaneously noticing I forgot about the trolling motor. So same spot, same gear,  Corne special, only this time there’s a difference. We aren’t drifting quite as fast and it feels a whole lot hotter. Since we were there earlier in the day, they were only running a half or one generator. That explains the lack of drift and less comfortable temperature. The complaints started almost immediately and I knew this wouldn’t last long. We were out for maybe 2 hours, caught one fish, and headed back because my daughter was not handling the new conditions well. She did catch her second trout though, which was less exciting than the first. We dropped the daughter off with, I assume, my mom.

My wife, dad, and I headed up river toward the dam and kept our lifejackets on the whole time. Guess that lesson sunk in for us too. You can boat all the way up to the dam in any current, though I won’t do it unless there’s at least 3 running. I’ve seen a boat slowly wind its way all the way up to the dam with zero running. All the while dodging fly casts and very angry fly fisherman. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.

So we made it up to where the trophy area ends and started our drift. By this time, they’d flipped a few more generators on and the current’s much faster up that way as it is mostly skinny water. So, by drift, I mean we attempted a non-powered john boat speed record.

I didn’t fish but both my wife and dad landed a few. It finally widens and slows down about a mile and half down, but none of us were having any luck. We ended up heading way down river and I only caught one, but I think we had over 10 total - not a bad trip. A front came in, which surprisingly didn’t jump start the fish at all. It did make for a cold, wet ride home though. And since, this was probably the last day we’d rent a boat, I pulled it into the slip with only minor damage. Now it’s time to forget all I learned about driving a boat on Taneycomo.

In conclusion (I will remember those readers who are clapping) it was a great fishing trip because I witnessed my daughter catch her first trout. I don’t remember mine, but I will not forget hers. Well until dementia sets in or progresses further. It was a great moment for me and probably one she would describe as neat. Maybe even pretty neat. We did what we came to do, along with a number of other memorable adventures. With no 10 pounder cooling in the taxidermist’s freezer, I’ll be back to Taneycomo just like I always come back (Even if I caught a 10 pounder, I’d be back for an 11 pounder). And Salmo Trutta always beckons. And, go karts are awesome, so I’ll always find a reason to head back to Taneycomo. Hopefully, my daughter will tag along.

And, to Tiny, the dam man who flips the dam switch, you can rest easy, we are at an unheard of 50% increase in desire to return at any cost. Spend that Christmas bonus wisely because there was only a 5% increase in resentment. So I’m comin’ for ya, Tiny. Summer 2017, the Tussle amongst the Mussels, coming soon to a pay per view near you.

As far as a post game analysis, there was a lot to learn about myself. I confirmed that I am selfish even in trying to help someone else. In the end it was all about my expectations and the expectations I believed everyone had of me. After writing all of this, I do believe I have unloaded some of that backpack I talked about earlier. Of course, I’ve just replaced that with other things (like acute awareness of my selfishness) that will probably weigh me down. I’ve always thought I was a pretty laid back guy, but, man do I worry. I worry about things that I probably don’t need to worry about and things that are unlikely to happen. Something obvious’ll probably get me as I sit worrying about the barometric effect on fiberglass hull buoyancy. My personal spin is that these worries will keep me and my family safe in the outdoors or back in the real world. I also learned that I am a glutton for punishment. Taneycomo is and probably always will be my favorite place to fish yet my descriptions wouldn't lead a sane person to believe that. Well, I guess that explains it, I'm just not the paragon of mental health and normalcy I am sure you are picturing.

All in all, at the start of this, I had more issues than National Geographic, I think I have unloaded some of that and maybe next time I’ll even remember how to dock the boat. Just maybe the  awareness of my hangups (or snaggers) will help me more fully enjoy the time I have on the riverlake. Or maybe I’ll just do the same thing and have a heck of time in spite of it all.

Hopefully, you stuck with this mess and enjoyed it. At worst, I hope you at least can be comforted there’s someone like me out there. Not only are you not him, but he also lives on the other side of Missouri.

Thanks for reading, until next time:

Busch & Lake Taneycomo- Part 4

So my plan was to get up early every morning and head to the dock. On Sunday morning after waking up later than early, Water was trickling along at a speed the dock guy called about half a generator. What?!?! I said. There are a total of four generators at the dam and I had always thought that each generator had an off/on switch. So either 100% or 0% running. Apparently, this is not true and now there is an infinite amount of variations to the amount of water that could run through the dam and affect the levels and speed of the current. I was heartbroken, simply defeated. However, I pulled right out of it like Tom Hanks in Sully, because that was stupid thinking. Also, I have not seen Sully, I just assume there must be a scene where Tom Hanks tells his co-pilot “on the count of 3, I am going to tell you to pull up. And you are going to pull up like your life depends on it. Because it does.”

Anyway, I tend to over complicate and over react to things. Then I balance that out with over simplifying them and imagining myself as Tom Hanks. Might be crazy, but it works. You should try it right now.

So, on morning one, my wife broke the seal and landed the first trout. My daughter mustered all the patience of a 7 year old and lasted a solid 20 minutes. I thought that was pretty good, but she did not manage to land her first trout. Unfortunate, but we got all week. And sipping coffee with a couple lines in the water, staring out at this, aint too bad.

I think we did some other things that day, but made an important decision – we were going to rent a boat for Monday afternoon. Boating Taneycomo is a whole can of worms for me. I usually have to drive and man the trolling motor. People tend to also blame the driver when fish aren’t caught. The other option is that everyone else is catching fish, but the driver is stuck doing driver stuff and not catching fish. Its pretty much a lose-lose-lose situation and that’s if everyone is competent at fishing. Adding a 7 year old and a city girl means the opening of Busch’s Guide Service Ltd. and the closing of Busch: Big Trout Hunter Unlimited. Also, I cannot stress enough that Taneycomo is tricky, can be dangerous and broken props aren’t comped by the House.

Another note on the fly shop, they are dangerous on regular terms. If you’ve ever spent $80 on a bunch of flies that weigh less than a quarter, you’ll understand. However, when the fly shop’s connected to the resort you are staying at, it gets real easy to just grab a handful of stuff and say “put it on the room”. Do not do this. I was pleasantly surprised at the end of the week. I thought we had spent the GDP of a large Caribbean nation, but it wasn’t that bad. At the end of the week, it wasn’t that bad. During the week, I was a nervous wreck that I spent my daughter’s college fund (if it existed).

Monday morning found me down at the dock and I think I caught a few too. My daughter came down in her night gown and fished with me for awhile. I think she lasted 15 minutes this time. The diminishing amounts of time spent fishing was not emboldening me with confidence. Out in a boat, a complaining 7 year old (well any-year old) is a great way to test how far you can swim in 47 degree water. So after those 15 minutes, she decided to quit. As she was walking up the ramp, I got a solid bite. I set the hook and started yelling for her to come down. After several “I Got a fish for you” answered with “what?” She finally came down. As she was coming back down the ramp, I caught a glimpse of this fish about 20 yards away. It had a bronze color and fought a little differently than a rainbow. Could it be Salmo Trutta with some size? I was giddy with possibility. So I handed off my rig to my daughter and she reeled like it was a Marlin off the coast of Baja. When it finally got close to the dock, I realize that it was not Salmo Trutta, but a Carp. As I netted it, I could hear it taunt me – “Sucka” it whispered. It was definitely a good size fish and probably the largest my daughter had ever caught –probably 3+ pounds. She did enjoy that and really enjoyed telling everyone how she caught it, conveniently forgetting how I hooked it.

Finally, came time to get out on the boat. We got one of their larger john boats and it was one of my few great decisions. You can fit up to five people with plenty of room. The smaller johns feel like surf boards, especially when the water really gets going. Which sounds kinda aweome – John boat surfing on Taneycomo.

So here is our intrepid angler:

She’s excited, I’m excited, my dad’s excited, my wife’s excited, my mom is excited (to have some peace and quiet for awhile) and we are ready to do this thing.

Surprisingly, we got off fairly quickly. I was expecting everyone to get settled in the boat, then my daughter would have to go to the bathroom. When she got back, my wife would have to go, then my dad would say, “never pass up an opportunity to take a whiz” and he would go.  I would frustratedly say I don’t have to go, until about an hour later, when I would have to hold it for dear life. Didn’t happen, to my surprise and chagrin. Of all the horrible things that can happen on a simple boat, a girl needing to use the restroom is one of the worst. It has gotten better on Taneycomo, but there still aren’t a lot of public restrooms on the riverlake. Maybe all lakes need to designate a Potty Cove instead of a Party Cove. When considering the Lake of the Ozarks, both names work, because that place is gross.

Busch & Lake Taneycomo- Part 3

Look at you; back again with your mint Zebco 33 combo in hand, ready to learn more about Lake Taneycomo and be regaled with tales of my daughter’s first attempt at mastering Oncorhynchus mykiss-otherwise known as the rainbow trout. Or maybe we will have a date with Salmo trutta, aka the brown trout. Administrative note, we’ll be sticking with the common names. A thermometer doesn’t have enough degrees to attempt pronunciation of Oncorhynchus mykiss. And worse, it sounds really dumb when you try. Just ask my neighbor here at work. I am pretty sure I was just written up for witchcraft.

Salmo trutta sounds like a low level hit man from the Corleone family. So we’ll also be sticking wi…Nope, this just in from the home office, we will officially be referring to the brown trout as Salmo Trutta and only Salmo Trutta from here on out. Salmo Trutta, Salmo Trutta, I just love the way it looks and sounds in my head.

If you find yourself late to the game, I personally invite you to peruse part 1 & 2.

Alright, thankfully the family has been playing some pretty serious Tetris this past six months, because packing the family truckster severely tested those skills. Unable to see out the back window and one mirror, we set off on the 4 hour trip from St. Louis to Lilley’s Landing in Branson, MO.

Sidenote: Since the Show Me Fly Guy is from the Kansas City area, I assume that most of the regular readers here (the Norms and Cliffs, if you will and I just did) are also from the KC area. I want to let it be known that I am not a baseball fan. I do have to entertain clients from time to time at Cardinals games, but I would prefer to gouge my eyes out with rusty treble hooks. Hard to be a football fan in STL right now, however I did once own an Elvis Grbac jersey with #19 rather than #11. I am pretty sure I gave it away. If I do find it, pics will be posted.

So we shoved off from the homestead with hope in our hearts. It’d been awhile since we went on vacation and I was getting pretty amped to share the pain and agony of fishing Taneycomo with my daughter. We’d had her down to Branson before but stayed on Table Rock. She was only about 3 then and I didn’t think she was ready. Truthfully I wasn’t ready to take her. We’ve fished a few times and she’s done pretty well. I learned she is an angler like her old man-a fish caught with no help and my way is better than 10 caught with someone standing over your shoulder. She’s a natural independent. Some day she will learn all that comes with that, too.

On the way down, we listened to a book on tape, “Bear in the Backseat” about a retired Smokey Mountain National Park Ranger’s 30+year career. Great book, highly recommended, and shortened the drive tremendously. Sidenote: Would anyone be interested in a book list/discussion group? I try to read super manly things about war and stuff. Always looking for recommendations, post in the comments if interested.

We pulled in to Lilley’s Landing Resort and Marina around 3, after roughly ten too many stops. Growing up, my dad always timed the trip using the analog clock on our Delta 88. He’d get visibly excited when we were closing in on a record. I think we were always on pace for a record and I can recall numerous times when either me or one of my two sisters asked for bathroom break. I learned about the five stages of grief because of this very question.

I’d write more about the drive, but I am pretty sure that the documentary, National Lampoons Vacation covers the material just as well. If you haven’t seen it, please click away from this article immediately (then click back to this site, we need the views, do it several times, from different computers if you have the means.)

As I have mentioned earlier, we’ve stayed at Lilleys Landing since even before it was called Lilley’s Landing. I love this place, though I am not sure exactly why. I guess it’s just not too fancy and they have everything you need. Except they did get rid of the soda fountain machine. So almost everything I need and totally not cool at all on the soda fountain decision. The rooms are fine, however I am probably not the best person to judge rooms or food. I don’t go on vacation to hang out in a room or eat, so among all the other things I am terrible at, add hotel and restaurant critic to the list. Here’s a secret, you can sit on a couch, watch tv, and eat whatever you want at home. Really, you can. On vacation, you should be doing. End soapbox.

The nerves began to hit me a little once we settled in the room. I always get a little nervous and excited before getting down to the business of fishing, hunting, or anything outdoors. I like Nature – I like that I can’t control or predict it and whether I can or not is no longer a question. I’ve come to believe Nature is much more black and white than civilization. And when it comes to fishing, every time I close my eyes to sleep, immediately visions of Salmo Trutta on the end of my line, rod straining under the pressure, and old Salmo projecting itself from the water like a Cruise missile. SO I usually don’t get much sleep, just too excited.

Of course, a 7 year old does not have that understanding of Nature and fishing. I am all for the naiveté of said 7 year old, especially one who still thinks her dad is a hero and can do anything. But the psi on those expectations does add a little stress for me. Especially, since I am intimately familiar with my shortcomings in the hero and knowledge departments. Let’s just say the cupboards aren’t bare, but they ain’t getting any fuller. So here we are, unloaded and ready to hook and land my daughter’s first trout.

Of course, not quite ready, the first thing every angler must do is head to the local fly shop, find out what’s working, where, and when. This always involves spending money and justifying to the wife that you have to match the hatch. When the kid’s involved, it’s a much easier sell. Just drop, “what is the cost of your child’s happiness” and you can buy half the place. Lilley’s has a great little fly shop, packed to the gills with just about anything you would ever need to catch fish from trout to blue Marlin. They also update a chalkboard frequently with what’s currently working. I always view this board with a truckload of trepidation. I’ve put way too much stock in it over the years and it immediately sets the tone for whether or not I am going to be successful on the trip. It’s the wrong way to approach this, but I’ve tried nothing else and I am all out of ideas. So I catch the board out of the corner of my eye, but will not directly look into it. Kinda like viewing an eclipse, it’s going to be awesome or burn your retinas. (though I am pretty sure an eclipse will both be awesome and burn your retinas, not really an either/or situation. However, I am not scientist). So I meandered around, perusing the wares, and finally looked at it. Uh oh, the number one bait was – nightcrawlers. This is a never a good sign. Two was pink and white power bait – not great. Third was… hope. Well it was really something called a Trout Magnet. I have never heard of a Trout Magnet and thought that maybe the trout were eating their Wheaties. Get it? The iron in Wheaties would be attracted to a magnet? Is this thing on?

(Sidenote: Taneycomo is a cold water riverlake. When the cold air near the water meets the warm air of July, there is fog. So it is always foggy. The other joke about Taneycomo is “Hey, the lake’s on fire”. Or some variation. You will always hear this joke and you will always laugh in that - I am not really amused, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings kinda way)

But since I had never heard of the Trout Magnet, it did represent hope in many ways. With a glimmer in my eye, I said, “my good man, where perchance are these Trout Magnets?” I was pointed in the direction of these mythical lures that will save me from utter humiliation and defeat. Now, I am not typical in my purchase habits when it comes to fishing. Or maybe I am typical. Anyway, I know many fishermen who buy every color, size, weight, glitter content, heft, length, scent, unscent, hook gauge, personality, rattle, vibration profile, depth speed, drop rate, cast velocity, etc. I usually buy two – Same size, different colors. Well, not so much with the Trout Magnet since I just bought pink and slightly less pink.

Now I’ve spent a lot of time telling you about the Trout Magnet and you’re thinking, “Man, this guy is one heck of a writer, he is using foreshadowing and I bet this lure is what this random guy from the internet used to help land his daughter’s first fish”. To which I will respond- 1. Thank you. 2. I used the lure three times and only go into such detail as to explain that something new and unknown always gives hope, at least to me.

Of course, my dad forgot his tackle box, and thus my plan to borrow all of my dad’s PowerBait, hooks, sinkers, etc. was foiled. So I had to pick up some hooks, sinkers, PowerBait, nightcrawlers (of course). Earlier I wrote that Nightcrawlers was a bad sign at Taneycomo. I am not really sure if there is any data to back it up, but it always seems that when ‘crawlers are the only thing working, fishing is tough. I am most definitely not one of these Anti-‘crawler, honor the fish by catching them using only flies with materials you personally harvested and tied on to hooks you forged (like some other people you may or may not be familiar with). In fact, I believe that the first Native American who tied a ‘crawler on skipped chief and was nominated straight to demi-god.

Alright, alright we’re getting there. You’ve stayed with me this long and you can make it to the end. Just grit your teeth and we’ll get through it together.

Busch & Lake Taneycomo- Part 2

So I’ve been fishing this river for over 30 years and have become neither proficient nor capable of fishing this (or any) body of water effectively. It truly is volatile and weather events in the last few years changed whatever I knew. We started out fishing with corn, marshmallows, salmon eggs, and night crawlers- 3 rods apiece for my dad and me fishing in the small hours of the morning. For all the commonness of my own my name, my dad’s name is Cornelius Francis. He is neither old timey Pope nor Roman Emperor, at least that I know of. I digress (again).

We’d always catch a lot of trouts, but never a big one. We armed ourselves with the Zebco 33 combo for many of those years. If ya didn’t know, not only is the Zebco 33 Rhino Tough, if it broke you sent it back to the home office in Columbus, GA (thanks again Al Gore) and they would send you a new one. I don’t think you can send a rhinoceros back to Swaziland and get a new one if he or she breaks. So the old 33 Rhino is even better than a real rhino. The 33 came with stock 10 lb test that lasted so long, you could hand it down to your kids. On the one hand, you could tow your boat with it, on the other it’s just a hair visible for trout (visible in the sense that the Great Wall of China is visible).

Methods and gear have progressed over the years and we have progressed right along with it (albeit catching up with the trends 3 years later, on average). In fact, the most common line now used is harvested from spiders in the deep reaches of the Amazon Rain Forest.

One of the key factors that contributes to Taneycomo’s volatility is caused by the greatest villain of all – Man. The lake and current are created by Shepherd of the Hills dam. This dam creates power by sucking water from the depths of Table Rock through any combination of 4 generators which spin turbines creating power to charge I-pads, cell phones, keeps that lights on in the Greater Ozarks Motel 6s and makes sure the good folk in Arkansas can keep up with their stories and Ninja Warrior.

Honestly, the entire White River system is pretty fascinating and the Dewey Short Visitor Center is a fantastic resource for learning more about the area and system. It is definitely worth the time if you have the means. By the way, you have the means because it is free. So quit making excuses and go the Dewey Short Visitor Center. I’ll wait.

You’ll see this…for free,

Ok, how was it? Let me know in the comments.

I’d be happy to write about other off-lake activities should my constituency be kind enough to ask me back. Or field questions about what to do when the fish aren’t biting. Otherwise known as all the Busch time.

So, if I ever meet the guy who flips the switch on the generators, I’m sure I’ll recognize him due to black hat, black trenchcoat, and his mustache twirling. I’ll buy him a coffee, and as he reaches for hit. BOOM –throat punch. Then I’ll run away in slow motion like the end of a John Hughes movie, jumping and pumping my fist to the heavens. I assume there will be other weary, wader-clad anglers -birds’ nests in their reels, hollowed-eyed visage of the dammed (get it?)- looking on. As I land my jump and pump, one of those harried fisherman will start a slow clap. With my luck, the dam man will be called Tiny and he will proceed take me behind the damshed and give me the whoopin I so sorely earned.

I often imagine the marathon meetings that are scheduled in the bowels of the dam prior to my arrival. “Ok, we got a big job ahead of us, Busch is coming to town and we have to make this as hard as possible for him. We are going to need a 15% decrease in his sleep, 0, yea I said 0, time wading up near the dam, and without a doubt, I need a 10% percent increase in resentment and a 22-25% increase in desire to return at any cost. Put on a pot of coffee and let’s get to it.”

With all that said, I do know the most effective way to fish Lake Taneycomo. You literally and figuratively must go with the flow. Due to financial constraints (of course until my blog checks start rolling in), I do not own a boat. Once the dam starts running 2+ generators, a boat is the only effective method to consistently catch fish. Of course, more water running also means more expertise captaining a boat-more expertise that I just don’t have yet. Typically, I get pretty nifty on the tiller on the day before I leave. Taneycomo is no joke when it comes to potential for prop damage and worse.

I should also clarify, Taneycomo is about 25 miles long or so and I’ve fished mostly the upper ten miles, so it is probably a paradise of slow current and lunkers further down.

Needless to say at this point, I have a love/hate relationship with Lake Taneycomo.

So the main goal of the trip is to get my daughter hooked up with her first trout, But I am a fisherman and as a fishermen, by nature my only hope is that I (and only I) catch ever darn fish in the riverlake. I am also selfish and need some youth to help me carry this load and she’s the best I got. So sit back, grab a hot drink (I’m a hot cocoa man, myself), kick up your shoes, and tune in to Part 2- Coming soon to an internet near you.

Busch & Lake Taneycomo- Part 1

I’m Busch and I’m not here to waste anyone’s time. Actually, that is pretty much exactly what I am here to do. I am a man of many words and very few thoughts. You may remember me as a bit player in the 4 part saga of the Show Me Fly Guy’s trip to the Lake Taneycomo back in the mid-aughts. Tyler Dykes: Editor in Chief, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons, Fisher of Fishes, Angler of Angles, First of his Name: invited me to write a little about a recent trip I took to Branson to fish the unpredictable and volatile tailwater known as Lake Taneycomo. (Invited is probably not the right word, I created, applied for, and accepted the job in a single email to Mr. Dykes. That shows initiative, right? We’re still discussing compensation. 50-50 on the sweet, sweet profits sound good, Boss?)

I’ve a long and (now) storied history with Lake Taneycomo. It is by far and hands down, my favorite place to fish and this will be the first time my daughter will be fishing the lake with me. I have been into backpacking for awhile, but have really taken to it in the last year (which means I read a lot of articles on the internet, think a lot about the strategy, load out, et cetera and do very little actual backpacking). Well, in the backpacking world, the buzzword is “ultralight” so you get to thinking about the weight and necessity of everything in your pack. I’ve come to the realization that this applies to life as well. Every memory, flaw, asset, experience, and so on weighs on you in some way. To put it in perspective, if my trips to Lake Taneycomo were backpacking trips, I’d pack a cast iron stove, California king bed, 3 sledgehammers, 17 frozen turkeys, and would probably forget the backpack. So I guess this my attempt at ultralighting life.

Ok, so here we go:

So they call me Busch, a nickname I earned by being born with a ridiculously long and confusing last name along with a first name given to roughly 90% of boys in the late 70s . I do sometimes turn the lights off, breathe deeply, and yearn for a long and sordid story resulting in a sweet nickname Such is life. At least I’m not a big guy called Tiny. Of course, if I met a big guy called Tiny, I would tell him that his nickname is just the best. While not known for their creativity, big guys named Tiny are known for pounding faces and I’m too pretty to take chances.

My family’s been staying on the lake since the early 80s and it always confused me as to why it was called a lake in the first place. In my mind, if there is a current, it is a river. Once Al Gore invented the internet, I looked it up and a lake is defined as a large body of water surrounded by land. I still have issues with this definition in relation to Lake Taneycomo, as I am a strongly in the Swift Current River camp. Also, Swift Current River Camp sounds like a delightful place to view wildlife in the African Savana.

If ya didn’t know, Taneycomo’s name comes from the fact that the entirety of the riverlake is contained within Taney County Missouri (Taney-Co-Mo). I was about 12 when I discovered this information and remember it like it was yesterday. There I was, reading a sign at the Shepherd of the Hills – not the hatchery, but the Shepherd of the Hills Outdoor Theatre and Homestead. The sign gave an introduction to the area and history. When I read the construction of the name, it was as if a light were shone down from heaven on me. However, the feeling was, ummm, not great. I felt both immense stupidity and enlightened. I mean, I knew that I was in Taney County and it was not that far of a leap to figure it out on my own. So I accentuated the enlightened part and downplayed the stupidity part in sharing my discovery with others. The responses ranged from, “well, yea” to “it’s ok, little buddy, we’ll get you checked out when we get back home”

I guess I had always believed that Taneycomo was Cherokee for ‘Abandon All hope, ye who enter here:”  After about 25 more years of fishing there, I am pretty sure the Shepherd of the Hills sign is wrong and the Cherokee definition is correct.

Also, some people remember important events in their life with as great of detail. This is what I remember in stunning Technicolor.

The Oldest Known Fishing Hooks In The World

Hmmm.  That's strange.  I thought they would have come from somewhere more exotic like Warsaw or St. Joe.  Also, while the hooks appear barbless, I doubt there was much thought about catch and release.

Link: http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/86473/scientists-discover-worlds-oldest-known-fishhooks-okinawa-japan

Let's Go Fishing

The other day I received an interesting email from Redington.  Redington is a company that makes fly rods, reels, waders, and a few other fly-fishing related things.  Anyway, I get emails from the company from time to time letting me know about new episodes of "Find Your Water" and other items, but this particular email caught my eye.  It was titled "Come Fish With Us".  Frankly, I don't care who titles an email that way, I am going to read it and I am going to try and go fishing with whomever has emailed me.  Anyway, here's the rest of what the email said:

Come fish with us as we chase both trout and smallmouth on the Niangua River in Missouri! We'll be hanging out at Hidden Valley Outfitters for the day, so stop by for product demos, giveaways, casting games, and plenty of good times. Come grab a free hat and share your latest fishing tale over a hot dog and a cold drink. Let's go hit the water!

So here's what I propose.  Let's go fishing!  I will be attending this little event and plan on fishing the Niangua as well as at Bennett Spring State Park.  I am trying to round up some of my buddies to come along with me and I hope to see you there too.  You know what I look like by now so don't hesitate to introduce yourself if we run into one another.  It sounds like a good time regardless.  Casting some new rods, free food, giveaways, and of course...fishing.  The way I see it, now you have a rare opportunity in front of you which you can use as an excuse to get out of the house and hit the water...at least that's the thesis of the argument that I used with my wife...and it worked.  Good luck if you pursue a similar tactic.

Link to the Redington webpage:  http://www.redington.com/home-waters#!niangua-wrapper

Screenshot from the link above.

Details from the aforementioned link.

Dear Boss, I NEED To Go Fishing.

I have not read very many articles from postflybox.com, but after reading this sometimes honest, and sometimes sarcastic post, I think I will be a frequent viewer.  This post will help set up tomorrow's post.  Here's a little hint: I'm planning a fishing trip and YOU are invited.

Link To 7 Warning Signs You're Not Fishing Enough:
http://postflybox.com/blog/2016/08/08/7-warning-signs-youre-not-fishing-enough-this-is-serious/

My Name is Tyler Dykes

When I first started this website/blog, I was hesitant to let others know who I was.  I had a few reasons for this with the most important being that I didn't want internet weirdos stealing my identity or stalking me.  However, after reading some other blogs for a few years and after not having my email account hacked by Russian teenagers, I have decided that it is time that I introduce myself.  My name is Tyler Dykes.  There it is, I said it.  Now folks don't have to call me "The Fly Guy" when they see me in public.  So what it only happened once!  What matters is that my public doesn't have to feel intimidated by my anonymity.  That's sarcasm in case it didn't come through via the written word.

Anywho, don't be afraid to introduce yourself if you ever see me at a fly shop or on a body of water.  One of the funny things about writing this blog is that you can see me but I can't necessarily see you.  I am always shocked to hear from strangers that they have read posts on the site in the past and that they actually enjoyed some of the content.  The fact is, guys (& gals), is that I am just a regular guy that loves to fish.  I am a public school teacher with a wife and a couple of kids that has found something that makes me so ridiculously happy that I started a blog/website to share my joy.  I love to hear about experiences that others have and how they go about enjoying this infectious sport that we all must love or we wouldn't spend so much time and money chasing fish in a way that is more difficult that bait fishing!

Fly Fishing With Jesus

Disclaimer: I am a Christian and I believe in God and that Jesus was his only son that he sent to Earth to die for the sins of humanity.  I am not trying to press those views upon anyone and this post just barely dips its toes into the waters of religious debate or controversy.  They are just some thoughts and musings that pass through my head sometimes that I finally decided to write about and nothing more.

Jesus was a pretty cool guy.  Sure there's the fact that he was/is the son of God and that he made miracles happen but I am speaking to being "a guy".  A guy in the sense that he's the type of person you would want to eat dinner with, or discuss the mysteries of the universe with, or...I don't know...go fishing with!  The following is an explanation of why I would like to go fishing with Jesus.

Jesus The Guide
Now I like to think that I can look at a trout stream and have a pretty good idea where the trout are hiding but when it comes to figuring out what they are feeding on, I am at a loss.  I just don't spend enough time on trout water to know the yearly patterns and intricacies.  However, I gotta think that Jesus would know where to find the fish and how to put them in the boat.  Just look at what he did for Peter in the bible.  He told a group of fishermen that had been fishing all night without a thing to show for there efforts to cast the nets on the other side of the boat and like that, their nets were full.  I gotta think that Jesus, the fishing guide, would be able to say something like "Hey buddy, why don't you cast that popper over there by that log.  There might be a 8 pound, 3 ounce bass hanging out right underneath that thing.  He would probably be the best guide ever and that is not an exaggeration.  If you messed up a cast or missed a strike, he would probably have the patience of a saint and would simply put his arm around you like your dad would and say, "That's alright champ.  You'll get 'em next time."  He would high five you on a good fish and laugh with you at the dinks you landed.

Jesus the Conversationalist
Aside from being an incredible guide, just think about what it would be like to talk to THE Jesus Christ.  I mean we're talking about the son of God here.  He would know you better than yourself and would know just how to make you laugh, how to make you cry, and how to understand the purpose of your life.  He would laugh at all of your jokes even though he has heard them all because that's the kind of guy Jesus would be.  On the other hand, I bet he could tell you some jokes you've never heard before and NOT make fun of you if they were over your head even though you laughed out of courtesy.  Speaking of laughing, just think about what it would be like to see Jesus laugh.  I bet his laughter would echo through the canyons and fill the morning air.  On the other hand, you probably don't want to get into talking about politics or religion.  He's got the whole religion thing covered and might not care much for politics, especially in our current societal climate.  That's a conversation taboo anyway and I think I would try to keep things light and breezy.  It would also be interesting to see if he would he answer deep questions about God (would he call him dad?), aliens, the meaning of life, Sasquatch, and the number of licks that it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Jesus the Modest Man
Jesus does not seem to be the type of guy that you would see zipping across a lake in a 17 foot bass boat at 60 miles per hour with his hat on backwards yelling "Wooooooohoooooo" at the top of his lungs.  He doesn't seem the type.  I would peg him as more of a drift boat or canoe kind of fella.  He would probably have a boat that he built with his own two hands.  It would be beautiful but modest.  No crazy striping or flames down the size, just a real pretty stain that brought out the beauty of the wood grain.  Now when it comes to wade fishing, I'm not sure if he would have waders or not because of the whole "walks on water" thing, but he would probably wear a pair just so he didn't look like a show off.

Jesus the Conservationist
I bet Jesus is the kind of guy that would point out amazing things in nature that you have never noticed and find beauty all around.  He would point out how light bounces off the scales of a rainbow trout, or the sun's rays poking through a patch of clouds , or tall grass swaying in the warm summer breeze.  I don't think these beautiful things would be lost in your time together and he would probably point out the most beautiful things that were always around you but you never noticed.

Jesus the Host
Aside from the guiding, conversation, and fishing, Jesus would probably do something about all the annoying stuff that you can encounter in nature.  First of all, there would not be any poison ivy, ticks, or mosquitoes.  Jesus would know that you don't care for those things and they would all take the day off and go visit their relatives 3 states away.

Lunch would have to be interesting too.  Would he take one 6 inch brook trout and turn it into an enormous fish fry with a side of hush puppies and waffle fries?  Would he dip water out of the spring and turn it into a nice glass of Merlot?  I don't remember seeing him drinking White Zinfandel in The Bible so I gotta think that he is a red wine kind of guy.

Finally, Jesus the Fisherman
First of all, Jesus isn't going to out-fish you.  HE COULD, but he wouldn't.  Jesus wouldn't be rude like that, and even if he did, he wouldn't rub it in your face.  What would Jesus fish with you ask?  Come on now!  You know Jesus would throw a split bamboo rod that he might or might not have made himself.  He would also have the sweetest fly cast you have ever seen.  He could pop off a hundred foot cast with a single double haul and drop a fly on top of a dime.  His roll cast would make Lefty Kreh look like a chump, and a few steeple casts would make you realize that your mouth was wide open in awe.  Finally, as far as I can tell, Jesus would be a dry fly fisherman.  The only evidence I have to reference is the fact that the Reverend Maclean in A River Runs Through It claimed that the apostle John was a dry fly fisherman.  If he was truly an apostle of Jesus, then who do you think taught John?  And when he did catch a fish, it would probably smile at him once it laid eyes on the Son of God and wouldn't flop around when handled.  Heck, it would probably wave a fin at his as a good bye gesture.

Sometimes around a campfire, a person will ask "If you could fish with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?"  Some folks talk about Lefty Kreh, April Vokey, John Gierach, and even Theodore Roosevelt.  For me, it's an easy answer and hopefully one day, I will get that chance.

Do Weather Conditions Affect Farm Ponds?

It is with the utmost sincerity that I hope that you have access to fish at least one good farm pond here in Missouri.  That is not a joke.  I really do!  They offer amazing fishing opportunities and chances to catch lots of fish, big fish, and sometimes, lots of big fish.  Some farm ponds are home to nothing but small bluegill, others hold stunted bass, and some are so overgrown with moss or vegetation that fishing is futile at best.  However, some farm ponds hold a large amount of fish over two pounds and some ponds have the occasional genetic freak that can go six pounds or bigger.  Those are the ones you want to find and consequently befriend the owner.

I consider myself a lucky guy when it comes to farm pond access.  I partially grew up on my grandparents' farm in northwest Missouri and as a result have gained access to some great ponds to fish.  Don't get me wrong, I just got lucky.  I'm still riding the good name of my grandma and grandpa and just as when I was little, their generosity continues to bless me.

This brings me to last Sunday.  I headed up to the family farm to check some trail cameras and maybe have enough time to fish a little.  I admit that I wasn't very excited to hit the water.  I didn't have a lot of time on my hands so I didn't even bring a boat.  This only diminished my hopes for catching anything other than moss and grass.  However, the icing on the cake was the weather conditions.  A cold front moved through on Saturday and post front conditions don't exactly get me wound up.  Also, I just happened to be hitting the water right around midday.  Strike 2.  And finally, the only lure I felt confident in throwing from the bannk was a fire tiger spinnerbait.  That's it, I was out!  No chance in catching anything post front with a fast moving lure in the middle of the day.  From this point you can surmise that you have been set up and yes, I caught about a dozen bass with half of them going 2 pounds or larger.  Here's some pictures:

The last bass took the kilt of my spinnerbait.  I say kilt because I don't even let my lures wear skirts!

Finally, on the way home I started to wonder about why things worked out the way they did.  It felt like the deck was stacked against me in terms of time of day and weather conditions.  What I kept coming back to was whether or not all of the typical beliefs about fish behavior on bigger lakes apply to farm ponds.  Maybe farm ponds recover faster from cold fronts or maybe the water temperature dropped enough to get the fish worked up.  Maybe enough time had passed since the front that the fish rebounded and responded accordingly.  The truth is that I don't know but I am curious to see what you think.  Feel free to comment below and share your thoughts!

Freshwater Jellyfish

I have lived in Missouri almost all of my life (I had a three year stint in Olathe, Kansas, that I don't like to discuss) and had no idea about two things.  1. I didn't know that there was even such a thing as a freshwater jellyfish.  2. I had no idea that we had them in Missouri, let alone the Lake of the Ozarks.  Check out the links below for more details.

Photo by MDC Staff, courtesy Missouri Department of Conservation

News Article: http://krcgtv.com/news/local/an-unexpected-discovery-at-the-lake-of-the-ozarks

MDC information: http://nature.mdc.mo.gov/discover-nature/field-guide/freshwater-jellyfish

T-Shirts Are Here

I'm not sure if having a bunch of t-shirts that have your website on the front make you bonafide or not but I'm not going to lie to you...it makes you FEEL bonafide.  I used to feel like poor Everett in the video below, but not anymore!

The fact of the matter is that my buddies have talked about having t-shirts made for numerous occasions for years and the fact that it has actually happened after so much talk is pretty dog gone satisfying. 

Front of t-shirt.

I ordered the shirts to give away to supporters of the site and to guest authors, but if you are interested in procuring a shirt for your wardrobe, please don't hesitate to email me at showmeflyguy@gmail.com.  I am sure we can work something out and I won't gouge you on the price.  Each shirt cost me about 12 dollars and if you want to pay such a lofty price to do some free advertising for me, well far be it from me to tell YOU how to spend your money!  

Back of t-shirt.

New Pictures Added To The Show Me Fish Page

A nice channel cat and some bass caught by the cutest little red-headed girl I have ever seen have been added to the "Show Me Fish" page.  Your pictures are always welcome so feel free to email me or upload them to our Facebook page.

Missouri Department of Conservation Auction

I recently found out about an auction that the Missouri Department of Conservation is holding on October 15 in Salem, Missouri.  They will be auctioning off boats, outboard motors, tractors, trailers, farm equipment and vehicles.  I have never attended one of these events before but you might be able to get a sweet deal on some used equipment.  Here's the link to the site.

Link: http://mdc.mo.gov/newsroom/mdc-holding-auction-oct-15-salem

Here's another thought, Salem just happens to be home to Montauk State Park which offers some outstanding trout fishing.  Being able to do both things in a weekend sounds like a pretty good deal to me.