Mean As Hell Part 2: Missouri (pronounced Misery)
Inspired by Johnny Cash’s “Mean As Hell” which can be viewed above.
By Tyler
The Devil in Hell, didn’t like how things were goin,
His new Hell in Texas
He turned to the Lord to ask, if there were more land to deliver,
He said that all that was left, was located near the Missouri River .
The Devil knew that this place was rough,
And to make it work, was going to be tough.
He had no choice, and they closed the deal,
God got nothing for it, and that was a steal.
He got straight to work, there were arrangements to make,
He made a huge fault line, to set up the next quake.
New Madrid, sounded like a good name,
Its been a hundred years, since it reached fame.
He started by putting critters everywhere,
In the ground, the trees, and some in the air.
Masks on coons, and teeth on bats,
The land got possums, water got musktrats.
Coyotes remind you they’re here, espeically at night.
Even trees weren’t safe, they got thorns and vines,
Ivy and Sumac that make you itch all the time.
Skeeters will bite, and there’s more than you’re needin,
Ticks can only survive, when you are a bleedin.
The AC and furnace, both used in one day,
If you don’t like the weather, wait til the next day.
There’s water all around, but you shouldn’t be bold,
Enough to get near it, cause of the snakes, so I’m told.
One looks like copper, the other’s all black,
Brown Recluse spiders, see you as a snack.
You’re stomach twists and turns, just like Ozark Hills,
But to deal with this sickness, you don’t need any pills.
When hillbillies need a break, they go straight to moonshine,
Cooked the wrong way, can make you go blind.
We rise and shine, before any darn bell,
We hunt and fish for fun, and we’re still mean as hell.
What place on earth, is Hellish, to such a degree,
It’s name is quite fitting, it’s called Missery.
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