No, this story doesn't have anything to do with fishing or fly fishing. However, it is too good to keep to myself! I can't make this up. Nobody would believe it if I did. To make a long story short, I bit off more than I could chew.
I told a sweet, retired, former teacher, that I could get rid of a big, dead branch that was...concerning. It was hanging over an area that was between the tree itself and a vinyl fence. It appeared that if it fell straight down, it would miss the fence. However, I knew that the branch could bounce and potentially damage the fence. It was about 20 feet up, about 6 inches in diameter, and oak which means it was dense which means it was heavy. It needed to come down.
Mason and I tried to take it down a few weeks ago. I used a step latter and a pole saw to try and take it out. I ran out of steam. I knew that I couldn't abandon this thing and potentially have it drop on its own and damage something or hurt someone. I went back on Saturday with renewed purpose and an ace in the hole. I enlisted my buddy Corey because, well, Corey can do anything. Plumbing, electrical, drywall, etc., it doesn't matter. This guy is is sharp.
I felt bad that I had to inconvenience Corey by taking some of his Saturday afternoon away. On the other hand, I knew that he would help me get out of the silly predicament that I had put myself into. When Corey arrived at the job site, and I use that term jokingly, we mulled over our options. We discussed using a pole saw again, a ladder and a hand saw, and a ladder and a chainsaw. Corey wanted the ladder and chainsaw option. That scared me. I wanted the pole saw again, but that seemed like a second lesson in futility. It also seemed safer...and more time consuming.
I started to saw. It was slow. Oak is dense and my saw wasn't surgical by any means. After 20 minutes, Corey said that he was going to get his chainsaw. I quit sawing before he showed up. Prior to getting dangerous, Corey said that we should get a rope around the limb to get it to drop where we wanted.
It took a little coaxing, but we got a rope around the end of the branch. It didn't take long to realize that this limb wanted to fall. I had cut further through it than I thought and coupled with its weight, it was weak. We got the thing bobbing up and down and Corey said, "On 3, pull hard." While I was unprepared, I took his lead because he's Corey and he's pretty much always right. On three, we pulled and with a crack that sounded like a gunshot, that sucker started to fall.
I actually had enough time to say, out loud, "Not the fence!" It all happened in slow motion but hit the ground with the subtleness of a broken shoelace. It was a nosedive. Straight down.
That sucker stuck in the ground, nose first, like an arrow that was shot in the air or like a lawn dart that I used to play with when I was a kid. If you don't know what a lawn dart is, your childhood was safer and less fun than mine. If you know what a lawn dart is, you know the visual and audio that those things used to hit with.
It couldn't have gone better. It didn't hit us. It didn't hit the fence. It just stuck in the ground like some sort of monolithic symbol of divine intervention. I wish I could go back and relive the laughter and high fives between Corey and I as we celebrated our luck, fortune, and skill. Alright, skill is a stretch, but we were happy that we didn't break anything and that we experienced an unexpected outcome.
Life is funny. You never know what is going to happen in the next 10 minutes of your life. It's unpredictable. The more exciting moments seem to come with friends and in the setting of the outdoors. This story is one of many that we could all tell, but good gracious, each one is fascinating and memorable. I never expected this nonsense but Corey and I have a story that we will never forget and one that will be told over soda pops and campfires for many years to come.
