Fly Fishing With Jesus

Disclaimer: I am a Christian and I believe in God and that Jesus was his only son that he sent to Earth to die for the sins of humanity.  I am not trying to press those views upon anyone and this post just barely dips its toes into the waters of religious debate or controversy.  They are just some thoughts and musings that pass through my head sometimes that I finally decided to write about and nothing more.

Jesus was a pretty cool guy.  Sure there's the fact that he was/is the son of God and that he made miracles happen but I am speaking to being "a guy".  A guy in the sense that he's the type of person you would want to eat dinner with, or discuss the mysteries of the universe with, or...I don't know...go fishing with!  The following is an explanation of why I would like to go fishing with Jesus.

Jesus The Guide
Now I like to think that I can look at a trout stream and have a pretty good idea where the trout are hiding but when it comes to figuring out what they are feeding on, I am at a loss.  I just don't spend enough time on trout water to know the yearly patterns and intricacies.  However, I gotta think that Jesus would know where to find the fish and how to put them in the boat.  Just look at what he did for Peter in the bible.  He told a group of fishermen that had been fishing all night without a thing to show for there efforts to cast the nets on the other side of the boat and like that, their nets were full.  I gotta think that Jesus, the fishing guide, would be able to say something like "Hey buddy, why don't you cast that popper over there by that log.  There might be a 8 pound, 3 ounce bass hanging out right underneath that thing.  He would probably be the best guide ever and that is not an exaggeration.  If you messed up a cast or missed a strike, he would probably have the patience of a saint and would simply put his arm around you like your dad would and say, "That's alright champ.  You'll get 'em next time."  He would high five you on a good fish and laugh with you at the dinks you landed.

Jesus the Conversationalist
Aside from being an incredible guide, just think about what it would be like to talk to THE Jesus Christ.  I mean we're talking about the son of God here.  He would know you better than yourself and would know just how to make you laugh, how to make you cry, and how to understand the purpose of your life.  He would laugh at all of your jokes even though he has heard them all because that's the kind of guy Jesus would be.  On the other hand, I bet he could tell you some jokes you've never heard before and NOT make fun of you if they were over your head even though you laughed out of courtesy.  Speaking of laughing, just think about what it would be like to see Jesus laugh.  I bet his laughter would echo through the canyons and fill the morning air.  On the other hand, you probably don't want to get into talking about politics or religion.  He's got the whole religion thing covered and might not care much for politics, especially in our current societal climate.  That's a conversation taboo anyway and I think I would try to keep things light and breezy.  It would also be interesting to see if he would he answer deep questions about God (would he call him dad?), aliens, the meaning of life, Sasquatch, and the number of licks that it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Jesus the Modest Man
Jesus does not seem to be the type of guy that you would see zipping across a lake in a 17 foot bass boat at 60 miles per hour with his hat on backwards yelling "Wooooooohoooooo" at the top of his lungs.  He doesn't seem the type.  I would peg him as more of a drift boat or canoe kind of fella.  He would probably have a boat that he built with his own two hands.  It would be beautiful but modest.  No crazy striping or flames down the size, just a real pretty stain that brought out the beauty of the wood grain.  Now when it comes to wade fishing, I'm not sure if he would have waders or not because of the whole "walks on water" thing, but he would probably wear a pair just so he didn't look like a show off.

Jesus the Conservationist
I bet Jesus is the kind of guy that would point out amazing things in nature that you have never noticed and find beauty all around.  He would point out how light bounces off the scales of a rainbow trout, or the sun's rays poking through a patch of clouds , or tall grass swaying in the warm summer breeze.  I don't think these beautiful things would be lost in your time together and he would probably point out the most beautiful things that were always around you but you never noticed.

Jesus the Host
Aside from the guiding, conversation, and fishing, Jesus would probably do something about all the annoying stuff that you can encounter in nature.  First of all, there would not be any poison ivy, ticks, or mosquitoes.  Jesus would know that you don't care for those things and they would all take the day off and go visit their relatives 3 states away.

Lunch would have to be interesting too.  Would he take one 6 inch brook trout and turn it into an enormous fish fry with a side of hush puppies and waffle fries?  Would he dip water out of the spring and turn it into a nice glass of Merlot?  I don't remember seeing him drinking White Zinfandel in The Bible so I gotta think that he is a red wine kind of guy.

Finally, Jesus the Fisherman
First of all, Jesus isn't going to out-fish you.  HE COULD, but he wouldn't.  Jesus wouldn't be rude like that, and even if he did, he wouldn't rub it in your face.  What would Jesus fish with you ask?  Come on now!  You know Jesus would throw a split bamboo rod that he might or might not have made himself.  He would also have the sweetest fly cast you have ever seen.  He could pop off a hundred foot cast with a single double haul and drop a fly on top of a dime.  His roll cast would make Lefty Kreh look like a chump, and a few steeple casts would make you realize that your mouth was wide open in awe.  Finally, as far as I can tell, Jesus would be a dry fly fisherman.  The only evidence I have to reference is the fact that the Reverend Maclean in A River Runs Through It claimed that the apostle John was a dry fly fisherman.  If he was truly an apostle of Jesus, then who do you think taught John?  And when he did catch a fish, it would probably smile at him once it laid eyes on the Son of God and wouldn't flop around when handled.  Heck, it would probably wave a fin at his as a good bye gesture.

Sometimes around a campfire, a person will ask "If you could fish with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?"  Some folks talk about Lefty Kreh, April Vokey, John Gierach, and even Theodore Roosevelt.  For me, it's an easy answer and hopefully one day, I will get that chance.