Rod Wars: The Fishing Awakens

A few weeks ago I published a post that included Star Wars related fly patterns and some of them were inspired by characters in the new movie that opens everywhere today.  I thought I was done posting about Star Wars connections to fly fishing, but then I read an article at espn.com.

It created fictional lineups for different sports that included characters from the movies.  It also gave a short description about why they would fit the role and how they would fulfill the role.  For example, it said that Chewbacca would make an excellent center on a basketball team because of his size and aggressiveness.  This got me thinking about another Star Wars themed post.  Here's the aritcle: http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/14335028/picking-star-wars-character-all-star-teams-baseball-basketball-cricket-hockey-football-soccer 

It made me start to wonder about what type of fisherman characters from the movies would make.  Here's my thoughts but feel free to share your comments below.

Name: Darth Vader
Technique: Dynamite
Description:
Darth Vader is the guy that takes you fishing to his "secret spot" just to terrify you with half sticks of dynamite after you are a mile from the boat ramp.  He tosses the dynamite, you cringe at the site of floating stunned fish, and a game warden should be showing up any time now.  The remainder of the morning is spent with him running the trolling motor and you skimming the top of the water with a large net while catching 10 people's limits.  You're feeling guilty, terrified, and you swear you heard him laugh at one point.

Name: Yoda
Technique: Dry Fly Fisherman
Description:
Yoda has lived for over 900 years and has seen it all and fished it all.  He's caught Taimen in Mongolia, tiger fish in Africa, and butterfly peacock in the Amazon.  However, he has reached a point in his life where he only enjoys seeing a fish rise to a dry fly and has forsaken all other methods.  He throws a bamboo fly rod that he has had for 200 years.  He's also abandoned trout all together and fishes strictly for carp.  Why do you think it lives in the swamps of Dagobah?

Name: Kylo Ren
Technique: Poacher
Description:
He uses a seine net fish up by the dozens, throws them on the bank and watches them die.  That's all.

Lando Calrissian
Technique: A nightcrawler on a hook and a Zebco 202
Description:
While Lando doesn't catch a lot of fish, he does catch SOME.  His method is tried and true and no one can really argue with his strategy.  However, it should be noted, fishing is not what gets him on the water.  He knows every...single...person on the lake by the end of the day, gets invited to a dozen fish fries on a slow day and is not immune to picking up the occasional lady from time to time.  Sure there's a fish or two in the live well, but he lets them go at the end of the day and watches the sun set while sitting on his double-decker dock while bumping Wu-Tang Clan.

Han Solo
Technique: Whatever latest trend was featured in Bassmaster Magazine
Description:
Han is "that guy".  He drives a Nitro Z9 boat with red flake paint with black and gold trim.  He throws Alabama rigs, shaky head worms, chatterbaits, and square billed crankbaits in a sexy shad pattern.  He also throws anything else he has seen Kevin Van Dam throw in the last 5 years.  He makes wakes in "no wake zones", hates skiers, and has a paint job on his truck that matches his boat.  If you're looking to sponsor an aspiring "bass pro" he's always looking for sponsors.

Luke Skywalker
Technique: Fly Fishing- not quite advanced but not quite a novice
Description:
Luke wants to catch every fish in the lake twice and is willing to throw any type of pattern with any type of technique.  He has a belly boat, a jon boat, Simms waders, and a sweet new Loop rod that he got for Christmas last year.  He can fish anything from huge streamers to small caddis flies but has even considered learning how to swing a steel head fly or drift a midge should the opportunity present itself.

Chewbacca
Technique: Hand Fishing
Description:
Have you ever seen grizzly bears grab salmon out of mid air with their mouths?  That's what Chewie does, but he has reached a level of sophistication that allows him to use his hands.  He even grabs fish with his pinky out.  He also eats everything he catches because he is always thinking with his stomach.

Jabba The Hut
Technique: Fish Market Proprietor
Description:
Alright, he's less of a proprietor, and more of a consumer.  He underpays fishermen for their catches and eats all the potential profits.  Did you see what he did to that frog-like thin in Return of the Jedi?  Think what he could do to a salmon, striped bass, or octopus.  His burps smell bad too.

Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious
Technique: Electroshock
Description:
He zaps the water and laughs at the floundering (pun intended) fish.  You saw what he did to Luke!  Where do you think he practiced using force lightning?