I am the proud father of two boys and I often wonder about what the future has in store for them. I mainly think about what kinds of challenges and obstacles their lives will present to them. To state the obvious, it is the job of a mother and father to prepare their children for as many of these hurdles as possible, but in all honesty there is no way to prepare them for every single situation. It is probably a better approach to try and teach general principles and ideals that can apply to multiple situations. I guess what I mean is that we shouldn’t teach a child to avoid hitting his brother but instead teach him the golden rule.
I also find myself wondering about what my boys’ lives would
be like if I passed away unexpectedly and wasn’t there to help them get through
their formative years. They are young
enough that they might not remember their old man and while I am sure they
would remember some of the values that I have instilled in them, there is still
a lot to learn and teach. It is with
this in mind that I decided to do something for each son that might help guide
them through life and impart some wisdom upon them or reinforce an ideal that
maybe they needed to be reminded of.
If you have kids or even a sibling for that matter, you know
that brothers or sisters are very different from one another. It is with this in mind that I decided to do
something different for each son when it comes to passing along wisdom. I remember learning in college that you treat
people the same by treating them differently.
I guess that breaks down to the fact that all people are different and
that they need different things depending on their strengths, weaknesses, and
personalities.
My first son is a pretty smart kid. He learns things quickly (when he wants to)
and has a penchant for music. I don’t
expect him to grow up to be the athletic type or a person with a wildly adventurous
personality. Some people ask me if it
would bother me if he didn’t play sports and I emphatically so “No it wouldn’t!” I want him to find something that he is
passionate about and that he can pour his heart and soul into…kind of like me
and fly fishing. He can focus on one
thing with an ability to block out any distraction (including the voice of his
parents) and surprises me on a daily basis with how he is starting to
understand how the world works. In an attempt
to pass along any wisdom I might have rattling around in my head, when he was a
newborn and infant I read him a large number of novels. I know he didn’t understand what I was
reading to him but it didn’t matter. He
saw a book in my hands and heard my voice.
After each book, I would find a blank page near the cover and would
write him a message that was designed to be profound. Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn’t
but I always tried to cover some moral or value that was exemplified in the
book. It was my hope that maybe one day
he might read my letter and book and be able to apply some important principle
to his life.
Now for my youngest son.
He’s young but it is easy to tell he is going to be the wild one. He is a physically strong little guy that always on the move. He’s not scared to
fall flat on his face and get right back up again. If I were to guess, he might be the one that excels
at sports. Now that I think about it,
the two of them kind of remind me of the Maclean brothers from “A River Runs
Through It.” Only time will tell
however.
 |
| The youngest son would be the one in the front and the oldest would be the freaked out one in the back. |
While I have had longer to put my “fishing stamp” on the
oldest boy, I wanted to make sure the younger received a different yet equal
influence. I am reading the youngest
novels like I did the first son, but at a lesser rate unfortunately because of
time and increased responsibilities.
Instead, I decided to start a little project for him. Before he was born, I saw a tackle/tool box
at a hardware store. I immediately
bought it not even sure what I was going to use it for. It sat in my garage for a few days while I
contemplated my next move and then it came to me. If this kid is going to be hands-on and of a kinesthetic
modality, then he should have something befitting a personality like as such.
I started to go through old tackle boxes to find my tried
and true fishing lures. I ran across one
of the first antler sheds I ever found.
I found things that reminded me of his great grandpas and items from my
youth. While the box is not full, it is
slowly rising to the brim. Accompanying
all of the objects is a makeshift “key”.
The origin and importance of each item is described as well as how it
might serve him well in life. For
example, I wrote on a piece of paper that the antler shed was found after five
years of hunting and after years of failure, my persistence was rewarded. I guess I look at this project like a fisherman
or carpenter looks at a tackle/tool box.
There are different tools in the box that have different applications
and are useful in different situations.
Like my first son, I hope that he can draw from these tools and use them
in his life when he needs them.
There is one last tradition that I have started with my
youngest son as well. The oldest boy
didn’t have a way to display his growth until he was about four. We started marking his height on a wall in
the house not too long ago as well as on a large ruler that is taped to the
wall of his bedroom. I felt bad that it
took so long to get around to something like this and I vowed to not let the
younger boy have the same experience. So
I started to think about what I could use to measure his growth. I needed something tall, but not
cumbersome. I needed something that
wouldn’t get tossed out or leave permanent scaring on drywall. I needed something portable, yet
elegant. Well low and behold I had a fly
rod sitting around that fit the bill…unless he grows to be over nine feet
tall. It’s nothing fancy, in fact I bought
it as a “back-up” rod to take on fishing trips in case a good fly rod
broke. I marked his length at birth on
the rod with a silver sharpie and will update it on every birthday until he is
full grown or decides he wants to take up fly fishing. My hope is that he will grow up to use that
rod one day (or at least keep it as a memento) and will show him how he has
grown both literally and metaphorically.
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