Mean As Hell Part 2: Missouri (pronounced Misery)
Inspired by Johnny Cash’s “Mean As Hell” which can be viewed above.
By Tyler
The Devil in Hell, didn’t
like how things were goin,
His new Hell in Texas
He turned to the Lord to ask,
if there were more land to deliver,
He said that all that was
left, was located near the Missouri River .
The Devil knew that this
place was rough,
And to make it work, was
going to be tough.
He had no choice, and they
closed the deal,
God got nothing for it, and
that was a steal.
He got straight to work,
there were arrangements to make,
He made a huge fault line, to
set up the next quake.
New Madrid, sounded like a
good name,
Its been a hundred years,
since it reached fame.
He started by putting
critters everywhere,
In the ground, the trees, and
some in the air.
Masks on coons, and teeth on
bats,
The land got possums, water got
musktrats.
Coyotes remind you they’re here,
espeically at night.
Even trees weren’t safe, they
got thorns and vines,
Ivy and Sumac that make you
itch all the time.
Skeeters will bite, and
there’s more than you’re needin,
Ticks can only survive, when
you are a bleedin.
The AC and furnace, both used
in one day,
If you don’t like the
weather, wait til the next day.
There’s water all around, but
you shouldn’t be bold,
Enough to get near it, cause
of the snakes, so I’m told.
One looks like copper, the
other’s all black,
Brown Recluse spiders, see
you as a snack.
You’re stomach twists and
turns, just like Ozark Hills,
But to deal with this
sickness, you don’t need any pills.
When hillbillies need a break, they go
straight to moonshine,
Cooked the wrong way, can
make you go blind.
We rise and shine, before any
darn bell,
We hunt and fish for fun, and we’re still mean as hell.
What place on earth, is
Hellish, to such a degree,
It’s name is quite fitting, it’s
called Missery.
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