Taking kids fishing has little to do with actually fishing.

I have two sons.  One of them is six and the other is one.  They could not be more different from one another, but that is a story for another time.  Anyway, I get up early every morning with the youngest so my wife and other son can sleep.  What usually happens is that we go for a ride to a nearby conservation area, lake, or other scenic area.  I have come to enjoy these times with him and try to make it a learning experience for him by pointing out different wildlife and plants.  I have also come to understand that there is some WEIRD stuff on the radio on Sunday mornings.  There is one program in particular that I seem to catch (not on purpose) that is hosted by a "sports psychologist".  Sometimes I listen for a minute, roll my eyes in disdain, and try to find some old country music.  However, I recently caught a show talking about how the focus of youth and even high school sports should not be on winning and losing, but rather on effort and what was learned during the game.  At first, I though "Oh here we go.  Another person talking about every kid should get a trophy and we shouldn't keep score of anything."  Instead, what I heard was profound and eye-opening to say the least.

The host of the program and a retired high school baseball coach talked about how sports should be extensions of the classroom and learning experiences for kids.  They also discussed how their own personal sports memories were not of games that were won and lost, but rather about relationships, gaining confidence, and learning how to overcome obstacles through hard work.  I guess it was something that I already knew, but it took someone else saying it out loud for me to really bring it to the forefront of my mind.  It seems like parents and coaches get so wrapped up in games and competitions that we forget the underlying point of the contest in the first place.

With that being said, some people might be wondering why I am writing about sports psychology and my sons.  Others might already know where I am going with this but let me just be blunt and make something perfectly clear; FISHING IS A COMPETITION.  In fact, there are many competitions going on all at the same time but the rules and scoring can change in the blink of an eye or the dunking of a bobber.  A fisherman competes again nature first to even catch a fish.  Next, a fisherman competes with a species of fish to try and catch the biggest of the species.  A fisherman definitely competes with buddies that are present and even the ones that he has fished with in the past for the most or biggest fish.  Finally, a fisherman competes against himself.  I don't know a single person that fishes that doesn't keep some score in his head of the most fish he has caught on a lake or where his biggest fish came from.  That is competition!

I am a competitive person and fishing has become my competitive release over the last fifteen years.  I don't play sports anymore and fishing has taken the place of my athletic endeavors.  It's my interest, my passion, and sometimes my obsession.  I take it seriously, I keep score, and I relish the moments of success while writhing in the moments of failure.  I have also done a horrible job when it comes to taking fishing too seriously with my oldest son.

I have been guilty of being too demanding, getting frustrated easily, and even getting angry at him when he doesn't magically have the ability to do what I am asking him to do.  I have taken something that is supposed to be fun to do and I have turned it into an unpleasant experience for him.  But this discussion that I heard on the radio changed my entire perspective and will hopefully help him at least find something in fishing that he can learn from.  It was also fortuitous that my son was fishing in a fishing derby later that day.

I at first signed him up because he said he wanted to do it, but then he started to get cold feet and probably because of our past experiences together.  I informed him that this experience was going to be different.  I told him that the outcome of the derby didn't matter and that I just wanted him to have fun and take it as seriously as he felt necessary.  I might have also promised him ice cream as well.  Like I said, I had some making up to do.  An olive branch had to be extended in my opinion.  What happened next was nothing short of amazing.

My son, the one that seemed turned off by fishing, started to excel once I backed off.  Yes he struggled to cast, and yes he missed a few fish, but he learned.  He overcame obstacles and problem solved.  He showed a determination that I have not seen in him before.  Most importantly though, he tried his best and had fun.  I helped him when he wanted help and tried to pay attention to other things when he didn't...while still watching out of the corner of my eye.  We laughed, we had fun, we learned, and we went home happy with the experience and with one another.  I wrote this piece not to brag about my son or myself, but because I hope that others learn from my experiences and avoid some of my terrible mistakes.  I feel like there was definitely a divine intervention on that day with the radio program discussing the very thing in my life that needed improvement on that particular day so I want to acknowledge and praise God for his plan.  Maybe I'm wrong, but sure feel like this was more than coincidence.